$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize