3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
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He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
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I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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