Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
where are my eyebrows?
we should paint friendship bongs
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