what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
