My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
