Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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