sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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