Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
