1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Houston, we have a squirter
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
