you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Are my feet made of real feet?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
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yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
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It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.