So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.