Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
