started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
