butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I wear drunk well.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
