why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
