Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
