Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
