I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
