I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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