Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
