I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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