I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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