i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
