So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just tell him i said nine months
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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