Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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