I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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