sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
