What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
