It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize