sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
