i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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