this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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