sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
