so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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