As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
They took my balls.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
