Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
