Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
