I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
