dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
