Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
