i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
what day is it and did you see me today?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
