He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
