did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
