Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
