I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize