they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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