That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
