how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize