mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
