oh fat girl friday strikes again...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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