it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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