She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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