How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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