Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
