Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
