so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
