I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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