Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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