Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
