She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
