He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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