shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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