I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
