this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I will be naked everywhere
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
