Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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