whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
