dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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